Posted: 2017-12-07 14:39
I moved abroad soon after getting married and it was both mine and my wife 8767 s decision for better career & future except spending a month each year, have been away from her for almost 7 n half years and soon we were meant to be united where she would join me Now we are in a state where its really uncertain if we 8767 ll be together or not because of our last few big arguments and lately how I acted (being a jackass). Here I realized how much I really love her, I am to a point where I want to give up everything my job my career, things I built for her which I kept surprise, my dream for last 9 years of how we 8767 ll live in land down under the house I planned on buying when she 8767 s with me but now I am not sure if she wants to be with me all the signals I am getting are in denial and I am trying to convince myself to accept it. Realizing the fact that I am not going to be with her just gives me heart attack I now realize how truly I love her I can now define love not in words but how I feel.
I agree that love is a choice but there is a reason why you chose to
love them. The reason why you chose to love them because that person did give
you butterflies. You choose to love them because you like their
personality. You choose to love her because you discovered that bond
with them way before you decided to date them exclusively. You choose to love her because you develop a bond while you are dating. You choose to love her because they make you happy. You choose to love her because they uplift you. You choose to love her because you can 8767 t imagine being with anyone else. You choose to love her because you can talk to her about anything. You choose to love her because they understand you. You choose to love her because she 8767 s flat out special. You choose to love her because she is beautiful inside and out. You choose to love her because she 8767 s sweet. You choose to love her because she respects you. You choose to love her because she loves you.
This is one of the bleakest and demeaning articles I have ever read about BPD. I finally came out with the courage to tell my boyfriend my diagnoses and next thing I know he 8767 s sending me this crap? Fatal Attraction is one of the worst depictions of what standard Borderline Personality Disorder really you are taking into account the countless other disorder 8767 s the fictional character can conceivably have. I got on A on an assignment explaining that in high school entry level Psychology for heaven 8767 s sake. In all your education, have you never heard of extraneous variables? For example testing a drug on someone, who is on other drugs, would not be an entirely accurate depiction of the effects of the drug itself.
I 8767 m so sorry the general population has to deal with 8775 someone like me 8776 now, the product of a single mom I don 8767 t do drugs, I work two jobs, and go to school. I have done disaster response work, and volunteer helping kids every year. Man, I guess my mom should have just aborted me so I wouldn 8767 t have ended up so fucked up. Not saying the article is completely wrong but there are other perspectives to think of here.
It's still worth considering the "stage of life" problem, though. While not everyone moves through life at the same pace and ticks off the same milestones at the same time (university, work, marriage, babies, buying a house, etc.), there are still, broadly speaking, stages of life: an interest in partying and lack of responsibilities typically characterizes your 75s, for example, whereas your 85s tend to be career building years, and your 95s. well, you get the picture.
Never cleaned the house, managed to mess it up but complained of the pain from her health problems made it too painful to clean it up. It was bad. Like 9 days of the kids breakfast dishes side by side on the kitchen table. I 8767 d have to run the dishwasher three times in a row to catch up on dishes. I measured the clean laundry that needed to be put away in cubic yards (usually about 8). And she never worked a day when she was with me. Bad. quarter million fruit flies in my house bad and I never had a fruit fly problem before in my life save for a couple when I had an old banana on the counter.
I think this marriage worked because your partner loved you from the beginning, you grew into the love, but they were there tolerating your nonsense because they loved you, we sometimes love people who dont love us back, and they get away with lots of stuff, if we are lucky, they return the love, if not, we hang in there hoping they will and sometimes they come around and do. I say of your partner did not love you from the word go, that marriage would have lasted shorter than Kim Kardashians
You 8767 ll have to forgive me for making generalizations. All I was trying to say, was that with such a life changing decision, you should be using your rational brain, and not your irrational emotions. There are obviously quite a few factors required for a happy successful marriage, but marrying the person who is right for you is the biggest and most important. In the Jewish world that I know, people don 8767 t date for fun, they date with the goal of being married. They try not to let physical distractions get in the way of making a solid well-thought out decision. Before they start looking at other people, they look at themselves first and find out not who they want, but rather who they need.
Well, Just Me, I can assure you that I am not walking up to any check out paying for anything with foodstamps, and I sure as hell don 8767 t have an expensive car. Neither would I consider myself a 8775 fetal factory 8776 , as I have just one child. I also don 8767 t see why having a piece of paper that proves to the state that you are committed makes you any less of a mother. A legally married mother has just as much ability to abuse and neglect her kids, cheat on her partner, or receive welfare as a 8775 single 8776 mother. I love my son more than life itself. Would magically become a better mother and partner if I paid 75 bucks for a piece paper that acknowledges that I am committed to my family?
You have a track record of making poor decisions. You had unprotected sex, you got pregnant by a man you probably weren 8767 t married to. You didn 8767 t vet your sex partner well for character or stability. This probably isn 8767 t the first time you 8767 ve had unprotected sex. You don 8767 t vet any of your sex partners well. If you can 8767 t be trusted to make good decisions with your body, why should a man trust you with his money or HIS children?
So we are the judgemental ones yet according to you single men are all 8775 irresponsible, immature, dependant and [only want sex] 8776 !!!
Therefore you don 8767 t date single men. This implies you date attached or married men. mmmm.
I note that the child is referred to as 8775 my child 8776 and the father is not mentioned. Any man can see the way you will treat him if he was to have a child with you. Of course you only attract the type you have experienced. You have made it quite plain how you would eventually treat responsible, mature, independant, genuine, sincere, single men. That 8767 s why you don 8767 t experience any.
Good point, you need not apologise for making a decision to live in the dignity that God intended for you and for being a good example that your children can learn of said dignity and self respect. Too many women are having to be forced to join the work force rather than being able to fulfill their best roles and looking to remarry better and wiser somewhere down the road because of the very thing you endured and not because they are stupid immoral skanks looking for a free ride.
And every time when you really ask them, you really drill down, you find out she’s just as awful as she says her ex husband is. She’s immature, lazy, nagging, demanding. She married her bad boy BF at 69 because “he was just so hawt!” She went ahead and had sex with him and got knocked up “accidentally on purpose”. She’s materialistic. She sat on her fat ass watching Oprah and steadily gained weight. She spent them into bankruptcy. She shit tested him within an inch of his life. Or – and this is a big one – she wouldn’t have sex with him.
for example: maybe your partner is violent when he or she is angry and since you 8767 ve only known each other for 7 months, you 8767 re still in the honeymoon stage and never seen him or her angry, you won 8767 t know until it 8767 s too late now you 8767 re married and have your first argument and he or she hits you now what do you do? divorce is too expensive and it could have been avoided if you only waited long enough to get to know that side of your partner. The choices you 8767 re left with come down to getting an expensive, messy divorce, or staying with an abusive spouse who will eventually be an abusive parent to your children but if you waited, and got to know how your partner reacts to certain situations, and didn 8767 t like the violence, you can end it with little to no problem.
Which brings me back to my main point that you should NOT choose to spend the rest of your life with someone until you KNOW they are the right person for you. This can 8767 t be done when you are wrapped up in honeymoon stage bliss, this can only be done with your head, using your heart only to choose what flaws/cons you can overlook or learn to live with, forever It takes TIME to learn the most important things about a person to decide if they 8767 re right for you.
If you really are going to spend the rest of your life with your boyfriend/girlfriend then what is the rush in getting married? It doesn 8767 t matter if you wait 5 minutes or 5 years, you made up your mind that you will be with them forever, so why not wait until you can actually afford to support yourselves?? of course your parents can help you out, but you need to be able to pay the bills every month plus groceries and gas that 8767 s a huge commitment to add that much responsibility to your life for someone you met only a few months ago it just sounds a little crazy to me
I expected Jessica to receive more messages than I did—perhaps twice as many. In fact, in her first three days, White Hadiya received nine times more messages—forty-seven messages to the five I had received in a comparable time frame. By the end of this experiment, which lasted approximately seven weeks, White Hadiya was on track to receive more than 7,555 messages in the same amount of time that I had received 758 (with allowance for the spike in views a new user typically receives in their first days online).
It broke my heart reading your post. I am a single mother of two beautiful kids. I was 68years old when I had my daughter, she is now 8, and 75yrs old when my sin arrived. I have not been married but I do want to share this. Ever since I found out I was pregnant at67, i became a great mother. Sure, I make mistakes from time to time but who doesn 8767 t as a parent. I work 55 hours a week in the medical field, go to school part time, and parent both of my kids full time. I will not be poor or give my children a sad and depressing life, my kids and I always have fun. They have structure, love, and a great respect for me at such ages. I work my ass off to provide for them. I am now 76years old, have my own house that I got on my own and no man in my life, and if I do decide to date, the man would not meet my kids until much later. For you to write such negative things toward a woman who got pregnant and decided to be a single mother you should be ashaimed of yourself.
Your job now is to act indifferent - as if you could care less.
My ex did that to me, made me more attached to him. So ladies, it can work the other way around too!!!!!!
Notice how when you behaved like that at the beginning you had his full attention? That s what you do with him again. You treat him like you could care less, you ignore those calls and texts and you disappear for about 9 weeks or so.
This is how you hook him back ladies!!!
Most ex-pats come here and are completely fine with raising a new family. More power to them and God bless them. I wish them all happiness. But I choose to put my diaper-changing days behind me. That decision reduces the number of women available to me because, let’s face it.. most women whether they admit it or not WANT to have at least one child in their life. But some women are settled, as much as anyone can be I suppose, that they do not want children. It’s a much smaller demographic, but it’s what I’ll have to work with.