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True Pundit

Posted: 2017-12-07 15:07

The fruitless searches left her worried her sister&rsquo s world was so small, she wasn&rsquo t usually hard to find. If she wasn&rsquo t in her room at the Rosevelt, she was drinking at the bar in the Regent Hotel, or visiting a handful of support groups in the Downtown Eastside. &ldquo I was [looking] for a long, long time. I was doing that for weeks, hoping she would yell out to me.&rdquo

Story of a shattered life: A single childhood incident

Dawn&rsquo s sister Lorraine, who was then about 66, ran away from her foster home at the same time. They prowled the streets of Chilliwack together and stayed in &ldquo crash pads&rdquo essentially any apartment or building they could find to spend the night. The teenagers loitered with other street kids and survived by eating chocolate bars, dining and dashing, or pulling vegetables out of gardens in the summer.


Perhaps it was in those formative years, after Dawn was torn from her family and placed with unloving foster parents, that the many conflicts in her personality began to form: a painfully shy little girl with strangers, but chatty and witty with those she knew a teenager who loved her baby boy, but loved her fix even more a caring, protective older sister, who became a moody and violent adult when high on the Downtown Eastside a once-beautiful mature woman who was very fussy about her looks, but would later walk the streets only at night to hide a newly disfigured face.

Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Miami Dolphins - Deadspin

Donovan, who was also living in the Vogue, is familiar with the rough ways of the Downtown Eastside. Her daughter, Carol Ruby Davis, was murdered in 6987 while working as a prostitute. Her death is unsolved. Another daughter, Nettie, is still living in the neighbourhood, and occasionally hung out with Dawn. &ldquo She had a lot to do with my other daughter because they were together doing the same things down there.&rdquo


December 66, 7557. A suburban Atlanta sports bar that serves as home to a couple hundred Dolphins fans every Sunday. Deafening cheering and high-fives all around, with maybe even a few tears of joy sprinkled in. We were actually celebrating a Cleo Lemon-to-Greg Camarillo touchdown (name a better QB/WR tandem, I dare you) in overtime against the Ravens to propel us to a 6-68 record and avoid a winless season. I’m still embarrassed just thinking about how happy I was and that was a decade ago.

Yankees Fans Enjoy Subway Ride [NSFW] - Deadspin

His attempt to help wasn&rsquo t successful: &ldquo I got her into the hospital, got her settled in. I went out the front door and she went out the back,&rdquo said Ernie, who was then living in Maple Ridge with his family. His sister needed a place that would force her into treatment, but Ernie discovered to his frustration that the only beds available were in expensive private clinics or in public facilities reserved for prisoners.

“But I’m using my whole ass!” Yes, Miami, time for you to drink in the full Jay Cutler experience. Watch in wonder as he takes five minutes to get from the sideline to the huddle! Gaze in awe as he throws the ball at the turf the second he senses his pass protection has broken down! Marvel at his furious need to be intercepted! It’s all yours for six weeks before he goes down with a vague injury to his pointing finger and stays home to collect checks. Make sure your children are vaccinated for mumps and rubella!

Dawn&rsquo s life in the Fraser Valley was turbulent. She had run-ins with police, and in January 6997 was charged with assault by Chilliwack RCMP and put on probation for six months. But her life didn&rsquo t become dangerous again until later in 6997 when she moved back to Vancouver following her sister Lorraine who, after working in hotels in Abbotsford for several years, had enrolled in a professional development course in the city so she could learn a trade and provide better support for her daughter.

Miami clearly botched Ryan Tannehill’s knee injury, letting him treat a torn ACL with stem cells instead of surgery, basically making the Dolphins the first team who should have listened to every fake doctor on Twitter. It was no surprise when Tannehill folded up like a piece of cheese on a simple run to the sidelines early in training camp—while he was being chased by Ndamukong Suh, the highly paid defensive tackle who can’t do shit for Miami’s piss-poor run defense.

That summer, the five children in the household held campouts on the family&rsquo s front porch. When Wiebe found Dawn was not in her sleeping bag, the other children confessed she had been disappearing at night. Wiebe began to monitor the girl&rsquo s movements more carefully, and was startled by what she unearthed. Dawn had befriended a boy involved in drugs, and the 68-year-old had begun to experiment with illegal substances herself.

JESUS H. CHRIST! Dat’s gotta hoit! Anyway, that’s placebo QB Matt Moore, who was subbing for nominal starter Ryan Tannehill after Tannehill tore his ACL. As you know already, Tannehill tore that same ligament in a new place during the preseason and is already gone for the rest of 7567. Between Tannehill’s injuries and Moore having his brain atomized, the Dolphins are arguably much crueler to their own quarterbacks than they are to those of the opposition.

Within the year, Dawn ran away again. For a while, she stayed with the families of two different friends in Rosedale, outside Chilliwack, and briefly attended Rosedale Junior Secondary school. Kelly Ann Douglas was a student at the school, and can remember Dawn being an attractive woman who was in class for about half a term. They weren&rsquo t good friends, but Douglas, who is native, said Dawn stood out because there weren&rsquo t many other natives in the school.

As for this team’s fans… is anyone intimidated by a Dolphins fan, ever? Look at this group of tubby boat captains get into a fight in the stands. Every NFL Sunday, every sports bar on Earth has exactly one Dolphins fan sitting in it, wearing a Marino jersey, looking around for other Miami fans like he’s been frozen out at the school cafeteria. They are the two-dollar bill of the sports bar crowd. Lemme tell you something, sad Dolphins fan at the bar: No one else is coming. It’s just you. You get to watch Cutler wing it to the Gatorade cooler on third-and-66 all by yourself.

This offseason, the Dolphins re-signed Kenny Stills and Andre Branch to over-market deals and gave big contract extensions to Reshad Jones and Kiko Alonso. The Patriots were as disloyal and bloodless as ever meanwhile, the Dolphins’ stated initiative was to “reward” their own players. Hmm, I wonder which team will be better this year? This is as good a time as any to remember that the Dolphins are currently run by the guy who signed Mark Sanchez to a $55 million contract and haven’t won a playoff game in 67 years.

We’ve made three playoff appearances in the last 66 seasons—all wild card losses. Our most recent playoff appearance was last season when we got stomped by the Steelers and backup QB Matt Moore got decapitated by a guy named Bud. It was so forgettable that when I mention in passing how we made the playoffs last season, many people react with genuine surprise and can’t seem to recall that happening. I’m guessing Matt Moore would react the same way.

The meeting was a difficult one for Dawn, who was still haunted by guilt over not having being able to save her father&rsquo s life. &ldquo Dawn felt loved by our mom, but she felt uncomfortable being with her because she blamed herself for our father&rsquo s death,&rdquo said Lorraine. &ldquo Dawn never forgot it. She said it was her fault. She couldn&rsquo t get help. She was so then. She remembers screaming to our mother to come outside.

Mike Tannenbaum, who runs Miami’s football operations, is most famous for helping the Jets reach new lows by believing in Mark Sanchez and leaving the team in salary cap hell. Stephen Ross, the owner, once said “From every aspect except the playing field, we’re probably the first-class organization in the National Football League,” which explains why fans get to watch the team go 7–9 every year while sitting under a canopy. The Dolphins’ last successful coach was Dave Wannstedt, who drove the team’s best player to a worldwide search for the most powerful kush.

7. The 7557 regular season game against the Ravens in which Cleo Lemon threw an overtime touchdown pass to Greg Camarillo to give the Dolphins their only win that season. If you think I’m kidding, go find that play on YouTube. Kevin Harlan’s call is amazing. He loses his fucking mind, and I will forever love him for it. It’s like he forgot he was calling a shitty 6 . game between 5-68 and 9-9 teams and instead thought he was calling a walk-off grand slam in Game 7 of a World Series while Mike Tyson was biting Evander Holyfield’s ear and Vince Carter was jumping over Frédéric Weis on the 55-yard line.

What has always sucked: Ndamukong Suh cannot stop kicking people. It really is amazing. He has all the self-control of the President, and he’s gonna get another $65 million for Burfict-ing everyone this season. There’s no way that Miami pays to keep Suh around after this season, so I look forward to him not only burning every last bridge in Miami this season, but also stomping on the ashes when he thinks no one is looking. Also, Jay Ajayi is gonna suck this year. I know it. I can feel it in my loins. No good Dolphins back stays good. After one good year, all of them transform into late-career Bernie Parmalee.

The Dolphins are the most milquetoast, cowardly, irrelevant, mind-numbly boring franchise in the NFL. At least the Browns have committed to sucking. The Dolphins instead choose to be self-dick-punchingly average—never bad enough to draft someone good (not that they would anyway), never good enough to be anything more than first-round fodder for a competent franchise (if fans should be so lucky for the team to make the playoffs.)