Posted: 2017-12-07 22:47
You still haven t answered me about the kind of confidence your unattractive friends demonstrate. It s one thing if someone is confident in their skills but not confident with people. That is definitely something that will hold you back. When I say confident, I mean confident in all areas. I mean confident in pretty much every situation. Not good at everything, not perfect, but just so at ease with himself that failing isn t a humiliation, and not getting the girl isn t a sign of his lack of worth. Again, I agree, I think you need to have outside validation to get there for sure, but I also think there are certain kinds of people who just assume the worst of everyone and every situation and they become a self fulfilling prophecy.
One of the first things you should consider is dating women close to your own height. The less of the difference in height, the less of an issue it tends to be. Considering that the average height for women in the US is 5 8767 8 8798 , the odds of finding someone your height or shorter are on your side. But don 8767 t get caught up in the idea that you can only date petite women or women who 8767 re shorter than you that leads into the same trap that leads to height being a social advantage.
What do you mean by being exposed as a liar? Having good posture isn t a statement that can be falsified, nor is speaking slowly and clearly, or making more eye contact than one is used to. Making conscious changed to one s behavior isn t a lie. Nobody can tell that when you approached someone last week, you were much more visually nervous than you are now. People behave differently in different circumstances, on different days, when they have more energy, and that s okay. Nobody has to know that some of that variation is consciously put on to make oneself more likeable.
That s fair. I guess since I tend to have quite a bombastic personality (despite being an introvert) I didn t see it as something that was bad, and since these guys seemed to attract her and she kept wanting to date such men, and they didn t seem reveal an overwhelming neurosis underneath I took compensating to mean Well, I might be short, but I m fabulous , not Well I m short so I need to BE EXTRA LOUD AND STUFF. But I will concede that my reading doesn t mean that he and you didn t see it as otherwise. Trix, I apologise for that.
It s true I prefer someone within ~6 inches of my height, but it wouldn t matter whether taller or shorter (now Me was admittedly more insecure about appearances, but probably not to the point where my worries over what people would think couldn t have been overcome). The one lingering concern I d have if I were the taller one would be: Is he going to get weird and insecure about it somewhere down the line? Which ties back to the article, especially point #5 if I m convinced the guy is okay with it, then I will be okay with it.
But regardless of whether she 8767 s a sexy hobbit or the Amazon of your dreams, what matters most is attitude yours and hers. You want to find women who are independently minded, who are willing to disregard the traditional role of 8775 the man must be taller 8776 and see you for who you are. But you have to do your part too if you 8767 re going to throw a sighing fit every time she wears heels, even the most patient woman in the world is going to get tired and start looking around for someone who 8767 s more secure in themselves.
I want to imagine it s just a knee jerk reaction to being shot down for something like that. We (the rejected in this case) need to feel like there is a good reason why they rejected me due to something outside of our control. At least, that s my thoughts on it. It s part of why I think dating and approaching is as much about finding someone and weeding out people you can t/ shouldn t date.
The thing is, as with many other masculine insecurities, this is predominantly in our heads. At 5 8767 8 8798 , I 8767 m short for an American caucasian male. Worse, I 8767 m the shortest of all my friends who range from 5 8767 6o 8776 on the short side, to 6 8767 7 8798 on the tall side. But my height has only been as much of a problem as I 8767 d let it be. Over the years, I 8767 ve dated and slept with women of all heights, ranging from 5 8767 6 8798 to six-foot tall amazons. The trick is understanding how to make height less of an issue.
I talked about over compensating purely because of the guy having that look at me! I am the beast attitude/personality not simply because the guy had overcome challenges or adversity. To me, that look at me! attitude didn t sound like it came from a strong sense of self. Just a personal observation and not a comment on people in general who have overcome adversity and challenges.
Now, I have mentioned that I understand now why I would get no response, and its logical, just at the time I didn t. I don t mean to compare my issues to issues woman have with OLD, because I have no real idea about all the issues they deal with during OLD. I only really hear about the worst of the worst and your right, it s no comparison. But it doesn t absolve the way I used to think.
Honestly, considering yourself short at 677cm is a bit too much, isn t it? I mean, you certainly aren t tall, but if the average height is just slightly over that there must be like millions of men your size in the US. Which means you aren t short , as being short or tall depends on how much you deviate from the average height.
Dunno, I m 5 65 -ish and I ve never ever been called short in my life. While I don t live in the US, the average height around here is also 5 9 , so I m guessing our concept of what s being tall or short mustn t be terribly different from yours
Whilst looking at a problem realistically and moving on from there, it doesn t help to openly make an issue of the problem in social situations. I have left social situations that trigger me but that s mostly because bad moods are toxic to social situations and I d rather they didn t ruin other people s enjoyment of the night. I feel I have a sense of what my barriers actually are. But I don t go around announcing them in social situations. I honestly don t. I may let them judge and influence my thinking but I don t announce my views on them to people. There are very few people in the world who know how much I dislike myself.
Sure but if you note the actual components of said personality (the passion, the humor, and the knowing where they stood on a lot of issues) they were all very positive qualities, just... dialed up to eleven. They definitely all had their insecurities (and at least two of them told me they felt weird about being short) but the fact that they were so goddamn happy and enthusiastic to exist as themselves made these guys energizing to be around. ((Side note: I think it can be hard to find the line between confident and arrogant. For me, that line was that these guys seemed sure that they were occupying their own lives and decisions the best possible way, that their interests and values were worthwhile and worthy, but they had no problem with questioning their own assumptions of what was best when it came to other people s lives and choices.))
I like Miles. I like seeing tall women in stories. I like seeing fighter women who aren t slender or deceptively delicate. I like stories where the women can be competent. I like Elena, Ekaterin, Koudelka and her daughters, Cordelia, and Taura. I don t like Miles s Sex Thoughts on Tall Women. It was fun at first but now it just makes me want to say, Shut up, Miles!
In a less extreme example, former President Barack Obama once commented that a police officer had “acted stupidly” by arresting a black man who was attempting to get into his own house. The National Republican Senate Committee declared Mr Obama’s remarks inappropriate, and started a petition to that effect. Former Michigan congressman Thaddeus McCotter even introduced a resolution demanding that Mr Obama apologize. (He did not.)
Actually he isn t very handsome. I find him quite attractive, yes, and I will concede he falls into the more generic good looking spectrum than not, but he also has that real nerdy look which I like A LOT (also since this is a thread about height, he s maybe 5 9 tops I m 5 6 ). In fact I was stunned when I first met him (we were friends for years first) that he was a major player. Not in the bad way, just in the way that he would go to bars and pick up girls all the time. He does not at all look like one. And honestly that was one of the reasons I was hesitant to go out with him when he asked.
I wouldn t say they were always the life of the party, but sometimes sure. But that s hardly status when EVERYONE is an actor. See, it s one thing if you are in a crowd of people and there s something unique about them. But have you ever hung out with actors? Because let me tell you, EVERYONE is the life of the party. It s exhausting. So actually what was so appealing I think about both of them was their lack of need to be the life of the party. Their ability to just listen to a girl as she talked, not needing to talk over her or anything. The second guy, really funny guy, he was amazing at making you feel so special. When he laughed at your jokes you just felt like you were something incredible to be able to make such a funny guy laugh.
Well it s not so far from what I found as the dividing line. I would also say that quartiles probably aren t the most useful metric of whether one is tall or short. I haven t actually looked at a graph of the distribution, but just looking at the numbers, it seems like there s a range that most men are within, and then a much smaller of outliers who are really tall or really short.
Yes, but Lee is a shorter gentleman and does quite well online dating, so maybe not completely dismissing his personal experience is in order here? Clearly he has some insight and possibly even advice that could help shorter men be successful online dating. How about instead of saying, It s hard ask for more details as to how he accomplishes it. Here s an idea, let s learn from someone!
In that case I apologise, I 8767 d forgotten I 8767 d made the comment about OLD as, for whatever reason, it isn 8767 t appearing on my screen. For what its worth I stand by that comment 655%. The sooner online dating is no longer pitched as some great alternative to meeting people the old fashioned face to face way, the better. Fake profiles, people on there simply to feed their ego by getting compliments, zombie profiles, catfish accounts they serve only as an experiment in how to create a socially accepted get rich quick scheme for their creators. At least apps like Tinder are unashamedly honest about their intentions.